8w1d

8w1d
Twins at 8w+1d
Visar inlägg med etikett hope. Visa alla inlägg
Visar inlägg med etikett hope. Visa alla inlägg

torsdag 10 juni 2010

Getting scared

With every twinge and pinch in my stomach, I almost go into a full-blown panic.
Tomorrow is the day I started bleeding out toward my miscarriage the last time… I'm scared to death to loose this pregnancy too!
My pregnancy symptoms are much stronger and the hCG levels were twice as high this time around, but see in the light of the fact that I may be the reason for the mf this means absolutely nothing!

'm still waiting for my good-for-nothing (I'm exaggerating) ob/gyn to call me with the results of my genetics test. It's been over a week and I would really like to know if I need to start with more medication NOW!
Unfortunately, doctors that are willing to help us women doing treatment abroad with prescriptions, testing and referrals, are far and few between. So choosing a new doctor is next to impossible!

In one week we will have seen at least the gestational sacks, but hopefully also one or two little tiny hearts beating!
I'm keeping my hopes up!

lördag 2 januari 2010

The new year is holding all my hopes and dreams

Having had a decent Christmas and New Year's celebration my focus has turned towards the future and I am anxiously awaiting my period.
I'm hoping it comes sooner rather than later so we can get started again. Since we only have two embryos in the freezer we are opting for another "fresh" try, in the hopes of getting enough embryos for the freezer to raise our chances for a successful defrosting for a third try or a sibling attempt.
First things first, I need my period to start to get things started…

I am not the only one carrying this hope of a successful year, besides Circus Princess, several of the women in my egg donation thread on familjeliv.se have recently had the same experience and we are coaching each other along. The women who have already succeeded getting pregnant through egg donation and are still active in the thread are helping us with good advice and the benefit of their experiences.

The reason for us having to resort to egg donation is that my own follicles are too few and the ones I do have are most likely of poor quality. The fertility clinic that did our investigation said that we are poor candidates for ivf with my eggs. I would most likely not respond much at all when triggered to produce more than one follicle at a time. They also said that we would have a better chance of getting pregnant naturally. So this last summer I went and had some acupuncture treatments to increase my chanses. All it did, as far as I could tell, was to elongate my cycle from 24 days to circa 30 - but only for the duration of the treatment. It skipped right back to 24 days after I stopped with the acupuncture.

I feel gilted, screwed by myself and by "destiny" for waiting too long, for staying with my ex-husband for eight years even though he proclaimed from the get-go that he was not interested in having any kids.
On the other hand I can not be sure that I would have met T, the love of my life any sooner, but then again we could have… who knows what the future holds!?

Well, I sure as h-ll don't know what the future will bring, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a baby or two!

Tjing!